Compassionate Inquiry
A Certified Compassionate Inquiry Practitioner, Online Across Canada
If you have been reading Gabor Maté, or someone whose judgment you trust mentioned Compassionate Inquiry to you, you are probably not shopping for a technique. You are choosing a person: someone you can be honest with, who will not hurry you through the parts that matter.
I'm Marjan Emami, a Certified Compassionate Inquiry Practitioner and therapeutic counsellor. I work with individuals and couples online across Canada, in English or Farsi, from wherever you are comfortable and unlikely to be interrupted. Every new client begins with a free 30-minute intro call.
Compassionate Inquiry is not advice, and it is not a worksheet to get through. It is a way of slowing down enough to notice what is actually happening in you, and staying with it long enough, and kindly enough, that it starts to make sense.
What Compassionate Inquiry is
Compassionate Inquiry is a gentle, depth-oriented approach developed by Dr. Gabor Maté. Its starting assumption is that the things we most want to be rid of, the anxiety, the numbness, the reflex to please, the sudden anger, are not random faults. They are usually something that once protected us, still running long after the situation that called for it has passed.
So instead of working to remove the symptom, we get curious about it. What is this protecting? When did it first become necessary? What was true about your life then? Questions asked without judgment, at whatever pace you can hold, tend to loosen things that arguing with yourself never has.
In practice, that looks like:
- Slower than you expect. We are not trying to cover everything. One honest moment, looked at carefully, tends to be worth more than an hour of summary.
- Present-moment. Rather than only recounting what happened last week, we notice what happens in you as you tell it: where your voice changes, where you tense, where you look away.
- Body-aware. The body often knows something before words arrive. We make room for that, gently, and never past what feels manageable.
- Curious, not corrective. Patterns that look self-defeating from the outside usually made complete sense at the time they formed. We look for that sense rather than argue with the pattern.
- Yours to steer. You decide what we open and what we leave for another day. Nothing is pushed.
How I trained in this work
I completed the professional training and certification program of Dr. Gabor Maté’s Compassionate Inquiry organization, and I hold the designation Certified Compassionate Inquiry Practitioner. Dr. Maté developed the approach and leads that program; he has no involvement in my practice, and the sessions described on this page are my own work with my own clients.
Alongside Compassionate Inquiry, my certifications are RTC (Registered Therapeutic Counsellor), MPCC-P and CCTP. My work is also informed by Stephen Porges on the nervous system, Bessel van der Kolk on how the body carries our history, Gordon Neufeld on attachment, and Dan Siegel on the developing mind.
I'm Iranian-Canadian and I see clients in both English and Farsi. What matters most to me is that you feel safe and unhurried with me. You set the pace; my part is to listen closely, ask honest questions and stay beside you while you look. More about my background.
Certified Practitioner
Certified through the Compassionate Inquiry professional training program.
What sessions look like
- Individual sessions are 50 minutes, online over secure video on Zoom. Couples sessions are 80 minutes.
- Sessions are in English or Farsi, whichever carries the feeling better on the day.
- Evening appointments are available several weekdays, and weekend mornings are open too.
- Everything starts with a free 30-minute intro call, so you can hear how I work before committing to anything.
- There is nothing to prepare and nothing to read first. You do not need the right words to begin.
What people bring to this work
People arrive for all sorts of reasons, sometimes a clear crisis, more often a quiet sense that something could be different. Some of what we can look at together:
- Long-standing patterns: the same argument, the same retreat, the same choice made again, and the sense that knowing about it has not changed it.
- Anxiety: persistent worry, racing thoughts, a body that stays braced even when nothing is wrong.
- Old hurts that keep resurfacing: experiences from earlier in life that still arrive uninvited, often at the worst moments. We go at a pace your nervous system can hold.
- Relationship difficulties: distance, recurring conflict, the feeling of not being met, or of disappearing inside your own relationships.
- The feeling of being stuck: a life that looks fine from outside while something in you has quietly gone flat.
This is support and exploration rather than a fix applied to you, and no honest counsellor can promise a particular result. What I can offer is steady attention, a pace you control, and a space where none of it has to be tidy.
Fees and practical details
- Individual counselling is $150 for a 50-minute session.
- Couples counselling is $200 for an 80-minute session.
- The 30-minute intro call is free, and there is no obligation to book anything after it.
- Payment is by e-transfer.
- Receipts are provided. Coverage varies by plan, so check with your insurer whether counselling is included in your benefits.
See services and fees for the full list, including family and parenting sessions and the cancellation policy.
Common questions
Is Compassionate Inquiry right for me?
It tends to suit people who have already done some thinking about themselves and found that understanding alone did not shift much. If you are curious rather than looking for a set of instructions, and if you are willing to slow down and notice what is happening inside you, the approach usually has something to offer. The free intro call exists precisely so you can find that out without committing to anything.
Do I need to know Gabor Maté's work before we start?
Not at all. Some clients arrive having read every book and watched every talk, and some arrive having heard the name once from a friend. Neither position is an advantage. Nothing in a session assumes prior reading, and I will never quote theory at you instead of listening to you.
How is this different from ordinary talk counselling?
There is still talking, and plenty of it. The difference is mostly in where attention goes. Instead of staying with the narrative of the week, we pause at the moments where something moves in you: a tightening in the chest, a sentence you almost did not finish, a feeling that arrives out of proportion to the event. We stay there with curiosity and follow what it connects to. Some people find that pace unfamiliar at first. Other approaches work differently and serve many people well; this is simply how I work.
Can we work in Farsi?
Yes. I am an Iranian-Canadian counsellor and sessions can be held entirely in Farsi, entirely in English, or moving between the two as you go. Some feelings only really exist in a mother tongue, and this work depends on getting close to the actual feeling, so please use whichever language reaches it.
How do we start?
You book a free 30-minute intro call (it appears as the free consultation on the booking page). We talk about what is bringing you here, what you are hoping for, and how Compassionate Inquiry actually works in a session. You can ask anything. If it feels like a fit, we book a first full session and begin at your pace. If it does not, that is a completely fine outcome and you owe nothing.
Do you offer Compassionate Inquiry training, mentoring or supervision?
No. I see clients only. If you are looking for the professional training program or for certification as a practitioner, that is offered by the Compassionate Inquiry organization directly, not through my practice.
If you would like a sense of how I think, here is a short piece on Dr. Gabor Maté on compassion fatigue.
Free 30-Minute Intro Call
A quiet conversation, in English or Farsi, with nothing to decide afterwards.
Book your free intro call